Tips In Building Two Happy Homes For Your Kids
There is no way around it. Divorce is difficult for kids. When it comes to figuring out how you’re going to take care of your children during and after your divorce, you have two choices.
Work it out with your spouse, or have the court decide for you based on the judge’s interpretation of what’s best for kids.
When parents divorce, it can be difficult to maintain two happy homes.
It's hard enough splitting up all the material possessions, but when you have to worry about where your children will spend their time, things can get really complicated.
Solution: Creating two happy homes of divorce is possible with a little bit of organization and communication.
Courts prefer that after a divorce, both parents continue to participate in making these decisions just as they did when you were married; in other words, both parents share legal custody. That is called joint custody. But a judge may give one parent sole legal custody if:
There is so much hostility
One parent lives distance away
One parent is abusive or neglectful
One parent simply isn’t involved in the child’s day-to-day life and doesn’t spend time with the child.
Finally, a few judges order joint legal custody but then designate one parent as the tiebreaker in the event the parent cannot agree according to Nolo’s Library Journal.
Once you have negotiated a parenting agreement and the kids have two homes it is time to sit down with your ex-spouse and make a list of issues and discuss as rational adults what is in the best interest of your children to create two happy homes.
Let us keep in mind what your children would like for you to know.
Generally, they want to be where their friends are close.
They resent when it interferes with your schedule
Figure it out if parents live far apart with time and their schedule and yours.
Never tell them you are sad or lonely when they go away.
If they express they want to spend time with your ex do not make them feel guilty for it.
Now that we have that squared away. Let us talk a little bit about how to create two happy homes.
7 Ways To Help Your Kids Live Happily In Two Homes
Living in two happy homes means they are comfortable and relaxed and they feel the warmness of their homes.
Make sure they have their own private space in the home.
Go shopping with them and have them choose their own toothbrushes, color scheme, bedsheets, or room decor.
Maintain a routine in each house if it can be similar, even better.
Have a positive attitude and become creative and create a home you always wanted for you and your kids.
When it comes to transition please make sure they are happy to see the other parent and encourage their visitation with the other parent. Your blessing means the world to them.
And never tell them the decisions are there to make you consider their input, but the adults make the decision-makers.
There is no argument or disagreement about the fact that parents are the most important people in a child’s life and that a highly conflicted divorce is much harder on your kids.
If there is a message that you need to understand when it comes to kids and divorce is to leave your children out of your conflicts with your ex-spouse no matter how angry you are.
Leave the children out of it!
Healing Your Kids And You
As a single parent, you will need a double dose to keep up with the additional responsibilities and pressure.
Single parenting can become very lonely and exhausting but it is very clear how important it is to help save our children from emotional harm.
Some days you will feel like there are a thousand galaxies exploding in every inch of you and you are burning too bright to ever be looked at directly, and some nights you will feel impossibly small.
So much of our lives are planned out, and we leave little time for spontaneity. While it seems contradictory to think of some “just because” when we are single parents.
Let us begin to reflect on our lives and let us begin to live regardless of our situation. Your children see right through you and you want them to see hope, love, laughter, and a zest for life regardless of the divorce.
What they see in you will be a reflection of what they can become. Help your kids by helping yourself first.
How To Understand Life And Be Okay With It
Scream at the sky, whisper secrets to the ocean, hold hands with clouds. The world is yours if you want it to be.
Cry if you want to, but try not to drown in your own tears.
If something or someone makes you want t run then do it, run until your legs go numb and your heart is about to explode and you forget how to breathe.
Kiss all the things that make you happy and all the things that make you sad, kiss everything that makes you feel anything.
Questions to reflect on regarding your children:
What are my children learning from me?
What kind of home am I providing for them mentally, emotionally & spiritually.
What wisdom should I follow to raise my kids?
Am I providing them with childhood memories?