Things To Know Before Dating & Marriage
There are a lot of things you need to know about the person marrying, so it’s best for both people if the relationship is taken s-l-o-w-l-y!
Some people may not have what it takes to be a good, faithful, or reliable spouse. Researchers have found that in most cases, people who are similar have happier marriages than those who are different.
✔ Talk and ask questions, not “making out” or all about sex. This will keep the relationship moving at a slower pace.
✔ Some of the questions you should ask do not have “right” or “wrong” answers, but are asked to help you know one another better.
✔ Ask questions even if you think you know the answers! Pay attention to the explanations and see if they make sense.
✔ You should share the same if I ask you. After all, you want someone who knows your personality and genuinely loves you, and not someone who just wants to have sex.
✔Journal frequently. Write anything that makes little sense. Strange behaviors are always worth writing about and discussing with mature friends or family members you trust.
✔Although it may be difficult to break up with someone, it’s far more painful to be married to someone who isn’t right for you.
Pray! Pray! Pray! Ask for wisdom.
BASICS ABOUT LIFESTYLE
➤HAVE YOU MET HIS/HER FRIENDS? WHAT ARE THEY LIKE?
➤DOES THE PERSON LIKE YOUR FRIENDS?
➤DO YOU RESPECT THEIR FRIENDS?
➤DOES THE PERSON HAVE CONSISTENT TROUBLE PAYING THE BILLS?
➤HOW MUCH IS THIS CAUSED BY THEIR IRRESPONSIBILITY OR POOR DECISIONS?
➤WHAT DOES THIS PERSON DO WITH THEIR FREE TIME?
➤WHAT ARE THEIR HOBBIES?
➤HOW MUCH TIME DOES THIS PERSON PUT INTO THEIR HOBBY? POLITICS?
➤SPORTS? TV? SHOPPING?SOCIALIZING?
➤DO OTHER MEN LIKE HIM? DO OTHER WOMEN LIKE HIM?
➤DOES THIS PERSON HAVE ODD OPINIONS, POOR MANNERS, OR TROUBLE KEEPING FRIENDS?
➤DO YOU THINK HIS/HER GOALS AND DREAMS ARE REALISTIC/ IS HE/SHE MAKING STEPS TOWARD THEM?
➤IS HE/SHE WELL-LIKED AND WELL-RESPECTED BY PEOPLE WHO REALLY LIKE AND RESPECT HIM?
➤DOES EVERYTHING ALWAYS SEEM TO BE SOMEONE ELSE'S FAULT, OR DOES HE/SHE TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR MISTAKES AND ERRORS?
➤CAN HE/SHE BE HONEST ABOUT HIS/HER OWN STRENGTHS, WEAKNESSES, OR MISTAKES? WILLING TO WORK ON THEM?
➤DOES THIS PERSON NEED TO KNOW WHERE YOU ARE ALL THE TIME?
➤DOES THIS PERSON CALL YOU NAMES OR DEGRADE YOU WHEN HE/SHE IS TALKING TO YOU OR ABOUT YOU?
➤DOES HE/SHE MAKE INSENSITIVE OR EMBARRASSING COMMENTS?
➤HAS HE OR SHE/HIT YOU OR SHOVED YOU, OR ‘ACCIDENTALLY’ HURT YOU?
➤DOES THIS PERSON CARE ABOUT YOUR WANTS AND DESIRES, OR DOES THIS PERSON USUALLY GET HIS/HER OWN WAY?
➤DO YOU OR THIS PERSON INTEND TO MARRY? DOES EITHER OF YOU FEAR COMMITMENT?
Partners in healthy relationships typically talk about things going on in their lives, successes, failures, and everything in between.
You should be comfortable talking about any issues that come up, from things that happen in everyday life, such as work or friend stress, to more serious issues, such as mental health symptoms or financial concerns.
Even if they have different opinions, they listen without judgment and then share their perspective.
Always keep in mind that communications go both ways. It is important you also feel that they’ll voice their own concerns or thoughts as they come up.