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Stop Blaming Yourself

We need to stop blaming ourselves for our poor grasp of our own minds. The problem is inherent in the very architecture of the brain, an organ that evolved over millennia for the sake of rapid, instinctive decision-making. Making decisions will always be difficult because it takes time and energy to weigh your options. But we can get better at it by understanding how our brains work and learning from our mistakes.

Do you ever feel like your brain is working against you?

You’re not alone. In fact, it’s a problem that affects everyone. But the good news is there are ways to fight back and win this battle for control over your mind. We can learn how to use our brains in a way that works with us instead of against us. It just takes some practice and determination!

Do you blame yourself for everything?

Interest: You’ve probably heard the saying, “You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge.” But it turns out that your brain is wired to make sure that doesn't happen. It uses memory to predict the future and shape behavior—and if we're not careful, it can lead us astray. Fortunately, there are ways to avoid this trap of faulty memories and get on track toward a better future.

Neuroscientist Daphna Shohamy explains how in her book "The Bad Memory Illusion." She writes, “Without access to reliable evidence from the past, your brain uses what it can to project into the future.

It doesn't just guess; it fills in missing information with whatever is most easily accessible at any given moment—which might be inaccurate or irrelevant or simply different from what's actually going on right now…But if you understand the power of memory in shaping your decisions, you can exert some control over it."

Are you feeling overwhelmed by the decision-making process?

Things like second-guessing yourself and feeling indecisive are just a part of the process. In many ways, they're a good thing—a sign that you're thinking about your choices instead of just going with the flow. With a little patience and the right tools, you can find your way to any decision - no matter how daunting it may seem.

Bridging the past to the future takes time, Shohamy says. Luckily, we have lots of experience finding our way into a brave new world.

If we take our time we find our way.