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Self Compassion

What to Know

Self-compassion is the ability to understand, love, and accept yourself. Perhaps it is easy for you to extend compassion toward others but find it difficult to extend the same compassion toward yourself.

Self-compassion is not self-indulgent, selfish, or self-pitying. In fact, it can help reduce anxiety, insecurity, and other mental health problems.

An inability to accept your areas of weakness, or extend kindness toward yourself when you fail, may lead to a decrease in emotional well-being.

Kristin Neff (2003) was the first psychologist to study self-compassion. She described self-compassion as having three elements.

  • Self-kindness – avoiding harsh self-criticism

  • Recognizing one's own humanity – understanding that all people are imperfect and experience pain

  • Mindfulness – having a non-biased awareness of experiences, even those that are painful.

Here are some important questions you should take time to reflect on.

  • ____ When I am upset, I find healthy ways to cope and manage my emotions.

  • ____ My self-talk is gentle, nurturing, and supportive.

  • ____ I am understanding and patient toward aspects of my personality I do not like.

  • ____ When something painful happens, I take a balanced view of the situation.

  • ____ I see my failings as part of being human.

  • ____ When I experience a challenging time, I give myself the love, care, and tenderness I need.

  • ____ When I feel inadequate, I remind myself that everyone feels this way sometimes.

  • ____ When I fail at something, I quickly bounce back.

  • ____ I am tolerant and patient with myself.

We all have them- those little quirks and tendencies that we just can't seem to shake.

Maybe you're always late, or you can't help but overeat when stressed out. Whatever your personal weak spot may be, it's time to start forgiving yourself for it. Easier said than done, right?

Not necessarily. With a little practice, self-compassion can become second nature. And the benefits are HUGE- better physical and mental health, improved relationships, and even greater success in life.

We all know that being kind to ourselves is important, but it's so hard to do!

It's easy to be hard on yourself. You're your own worst critic. But self-compassion can be a game-changer.

With self-compassion, you can finally start to cut yourself some slack. Start by trying out these tips and see how much better you'll feel.

👉Giving yourself the tenderness and care you need when you’re going through a tough time;

👉Trying to understand and show patience regarding your own perceived personality flaws; and

👉Being tolerant of your own shortcomings.

It seems like every time we have a negative thought about ourselves, we add to our own personal pile of self-judgment and guilt.

Self-compassion can help you break this cycle. By learning how to be more understanding and patient with yourself, you can start to accept yourself for who you are - flaws and all.