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Divorce & Domestic Violence

Domestic violence is a pervasive and serious issue that affects millions of people each year. It's hard to talk about, but domestic violence is happening in every community, across all races and socioeconomic levels.

Domestic violence is a serious issue that affects millions of people each year. It can be difficult to identify domestic violence because it often doesn't look like what we see in the movies. The abuser may seem like a normal, loving person on the outside. Domestic Violence is a comprehensive resource that provides information on multiple forms of abuse, how they interact, and how to get help. If you are in a violent relationship, your first priority is simple. Get yourself and our kids to safety.

According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, "on average, nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States. During one year, this equates to more than 10 million women and men." Domestic violence is a real and dangerous problem. That's why it's so important to have a safety plan in place if you ever find yourself in this situation. Domestic violence is a serious issue that can have long-term effects on victims. Victims of domestic violence often feel like they are trapped in a dangerous and frightening situation. They may not know where to turn for help or maybe worried about the safety of themselves and their children.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline provides crisis counseling and 24/7 support for victims of domestic violence. Trained advocates are available to help victims find safe housing, connect with resources, and create a safety plan. If you have time to plan, start putting aside cash. Preferably somewhere other than your house. Leave some clothes and important items with a friend in case you have to leave your house quickly. And start documenting every incident of physical and emotional abuse in your household, whether it involves you or your kids. Make a note of the date and time the incident occurred and exactly what happened. If you can purchase a calendar, write it all down.


  1. Make a list of people to contact

  2. Memorize phone numbers of people or places you could call for help.

  3. Establish a code word with family, friends, and coworkers so that you can tell them to call for help without alerting your spouse.

Domestic violence is a serious problem that can have devastating consequences. If you are in an abusive relationship, it is important to take steps to protect yourself and your children. The best way to protect yourself and your children is to get an emergency order from the court giving you custody as well as a restraining order that requires your spouse to stay away from you. Otherwise, you may be accused of kidnapping.

RESOURCE: You are not alone. Look online under “Domestic Violence” for local agencies, or contact one of these national resources for advice and help to locate services in your area:

The Domestic Violence Hotline: www.thehotline.org

Call 1.800.799.SAFE (7233) Text "START" to 88788

The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence: www.ncadv.org

Call: 303-839-1852

Most divorce websites have information about dealing with domestic violence.

Domestic violence can take many forms, including stalking.

Stalking is a crime that often goes unreported. Victims of stalking often feel like they are alone and have no one to turn to.

If you are a victim of domestic violence, know that you are not alone. There are people who care about you and want to help. You can get the police and courts involved to protect yourself and your family.

I was a victim of abuse and I was very blessed to be alive. Take your life seriously and protect your children. No one deserves to get hit, beaten, or emotionally, physically, or verbally abused.


Check out the website of the National Center for Victims of Crime: SStalking Center at www.ncvc.org/SRC

Warning Signs Of Abuse - Know What To Look For

It can be difficult to tell if a relationship is abusive. Many abusive people seem like ideal partners in the early stages of a relationship.

Abuse can take many forms, including physical violence, emotional abuse, sexual assault, and financial control.

Domestic violence is a serious issue that often goes unrecognized. Victims of domestic violence may not know what is happening to them, or they may feel like they are the only ones going through it.

You may be in an abusive relationship and not even know it. The warning signs can be hard to spot because abusive relationships often start out really well. Abusers will often make you feel like you're the only one for them and that they would do anything for you.

Solution: If you think you might be in an abusive relationship, please reach out for help. There are people who care about you and want to help. You are not alone.

If you are experiencing any of these warning signs, it's important to reach out for help. You are not alone. There are people who want to help you.

Physical Signs of Domestic Abuse

Some signs of physical abuse include:

  • Black eyes

  • Bruises on the arms

  • Busted lips

  • Red or purple marks on the neck

  • Sprained wrists

Emotional Signs of Domestic Abuse

  • Agitation, anxiety, or constant apprehension

  • Changes in sleep habits (sleeping too much or not enough)

  • Extremely apologetic

  • Loss of interest in daily activities

  • Low self-esteem

  • Seeming fearful

  • Symptoms of depression

  • Talking about or attempting suicide

How Abuse Causes Behavior Changes

You may notice that the person who was once outgoing and cheerful has gradually become quiet and withdrawn.

  • Becomes reserved and distant

  • Begins isolating themselves by cutting off contacts with friends and family members

  • Cancels appointments or meetings or outings with you at the last minute

  • Drops out of activities they would usually enjoy

  • Exhibits excessive privacy concerning their personal life or the person with whom they’re in a relationship

  • Is often late to work or other appointments

What Controlling Behavior Looks Like

Here are some examples of control:

  • Asking permission to go anywhere or to meet and socialize with other people

  • Constant calls, texts, or tracking by their partner wanting to know where they are, what they are doing, and who they are with

  • Having very little money available to them, not having access to a credit card, or having to account for every penny spent

  • Not having access to a vehicle

  • Referring to their partner as "jealous" or "possessive," or always accusing them of having affairs

If you or a loved one are a victim of domestic violence, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 for confidential assistance from trained advocates.