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Ask For What You Want and Need

What to Know

Many people have a difficult time effectively communicating their wants and needs. Some people are shy about asking for what they want, while others feel they do not deserve to get what they want—even though it may be important to them.

Some people have a hard time deciding how to be assertive without making someone angry.

What to Do

Put a check by each statement that describes what you did at a specific time when you wanted something from someone. For each statement you checked, describe what happened.

1. I didn’t ask for what I wanted, even though it was important. What happened?

2. I hinted at what I wanted, but I didn’t expect to get it. What happened?

3. I asked tentatively for what I wanted, but I didn’t expect to get it. What happened?

4. I asked confidently for what I wanted while accepting the fact that I might get no for an answer. What happened?

I asked gracefully for what I wanted, but I didn’t expect to get it. What happened?

What to Know

Perhaps you isolate yourself from others. Maybe you are embarrassed about your problems and find it easier to be alone rather than talking about what you are going through.

However, avoiding people can keep you from getting the support that could help you with your difficulties. We all need other people in our lives, even the people we know. cannot help you with your immediate problems, just being around others can contribute immeasurably to your happiness.