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Are you Ready to Date?

Objective

To prepare yourself for dating following the end of a relationship.

You Should Know

Putting yourself out there after the end of a marriage or long-term relationship can make you feel uncomfortable, awkward, or vulnerable. This might be especially true now that dating often begins online.

Following a break-up, everyone has their own timeline for when they might want to begin dating. After a relationship ends, you can begin to prepare yourself for dating through self-reflection – both processing your emotions and identifying what you can do better in future relationships.

When you decide to begin dating depends on your resilience and ability to let go of the past. Of course, if you have children, dating will be further complicated.

Here are issues to consider when you re-enter the dating scene:

End one relationship before starting another. No matter how your last relationship ended, pausing between relationships gives you time so you avoid dating out of desperation.

Identify what you have learned from the past. You will probably repeat unhelpful patterns if you fail to identify what did not work well in previous relationships. Consider how you want to grow as a person and as a partner in your next relationship. The more you take responsibility for your part in previous relationships, the more likely you will have a successful relationship in the future.

Forgive, let go, and move forward. If you find yourself angry, bitter, or resentful about previous relationships, you might have more work to do to prepare yourself for dating.

Admit if you need help. Seek help from a therapist or support group to work through any lingering issues.

Get a life. Build a strong network of nurturing friendships and enjoyable activities to sustain you through the ups and downs of dating.

This worksheet will help you prepare yourself for dating following the end of a relationship.

What to Do

Below are a series of questions and checklists. Be as honest as you can as you answer these questions

.Are you ready to date after ending your relationship? If you are not emotionally stable and ready to connect with dating partners, you might feel confused and unhappy, or sabotage potentially positive connections. So, what are the signs you might not be ready for?

Check off the statements that apply to you:

____ You consider contacting your ex whenever you have a problem. Copyright

____ Your ex still has some of your possessions.

____ You think about your ex daily.

____ You are not comfortable running into them in public.

____ You closely watch them on social media.

____ You are interested in who they are dating.

____ You want to date only to stop thinking about them.

____ You agonize over what went wrong in your last relationship.

____ You are resentful, bitter, or angry.

____ You have not examined how you contributed to the successes and failures of past relationships.

If you checked off five or more statements, you might not be ready to date.

So, it might be wise to give yourself more time and identify what you need to move forward.